Your child started daycare and stopped speaking Persian: keeping it through the first year

When daycare or preschool starts, your child's English input jumps and their Persian time drops, and many children begin answering in English within a few months. This is normal and expected, not a sign that Persian is slipping away. What keeps it alive is a protected, daily home-language routine, more than the school changes anything. Researchers who study bilingual children point to two levers: how much of a language a child hears, and whether they have a real reason to use it. A majority-language daycare raises the English on both counts at once. The hopeful part is that a strong first language supports the second rather than blocking it, understanding comes before speaking, and a quiet stretch at the start of a new language is a known stage. Azizan (azizan.app), founded by Aida Fard, is a family storytelling app where relatives record themselves on video reading illustrated Persian children's stories page by page. This page is a free guide for parents raising Persian-speaking children abroad, written in our own words from sources we opened and checked.

Azizan (azizan.app) is a family storytelling app for immigrant and diaspora families: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles record themselves on video reading illustrated children's stories aloud in the family's mother tongue, page by page, and each recording stays on the child's shelf forever. Real family voices — never AI narration. Persian (Farsi) first.

What happens when daycare starts

For the first years of life, most of a Persian-speaking child's language comes from home, so Persian has a clear run. Then daycare or preschool begins, and the balance tips almost overnight. For most of the child's waking day the world is now in English (or whatever the majority language is): the carers, the songs, the other children, the picture books, the instructions. The amount of English the child hears, and the amount they need in order to get through the day, both jump at the same time.

The linguists Antonella Sorace and Bob Ladd, writing the Linguistic Society of America's guide for parents, put the whole matter in one line: the two most important things in language development are exposure and need. Daycare raises the English on both. So it is very common for a child who chattered away in Persian at two and a half to start dropping Persian words for English ones, answering a Persian question in English, or going quieter in Persian, within a few months of starting. Parents often describe it as the language "switching off". It has not. The weight of the day has simply moved into the other language, which is exactly what you would predict.

None of this means you did anything wrong, and it does not mean Persian is lost. It means the home language now needs a protected place in the day that it did not need before, because the daycare is not going to provide it. The deeper pattern of how a home language fades across a generation, and why, is in why immigrant families lose their mother tongue in one generation.

What the research says about keeping the home language

Three findings are worth holding onto in the first year of daycare, because they tell you where to spend your effort.

Amount is the main lever, so Persian needs protected, regular time. Annick De Houwer's study of 1,899 families in Flanders found that how much of the minority language a child hears is a crucial factor in whether they end up speaking it; in nearly a quarter of her families, no child spoke the minority language at all. The amount a child needs is debated and there is no magic number, but popular guides drawing on the research, such as Barbara Zurer Pearson's book and the work of the bilingualism researcher Krista Byers-Heinlein, often point to somewhere around a third of a child's waking hours as a rough aim for active speaking. Treat that as a planning range, not a law. The practical reading is simple: once daycare takes most of the day, the Persian hours at home matter more, not less, and they need to be regular. How much, and why the quality and variety of speakers matter as much as the hours, is the subject of how much Persian your child needs to hear.

The first language supports the second; it does not block it. This is the finding that lets you keep Persian at home with a clear conscience. The Canadian Paediatric Society's Caring for Kids New to Canada resource states plainly that "children with a strong first language base learn a second language more easily" and advises parents to keep talking to their child in their first language, because that is where they give the best language model. An expert report endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics reaches the same conclusion: parents should not be told to drop their home language for English, because children need fluent input and fluent input in one language transfers to the other. Keeping Persian strong is not in competition with your child's English. It is a foundation under it.

A quiet stretch is a known stage. Both the Canadian Paediatric Society and the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association describe a "silent period" of several months when a child is first immersed in a new language: they listen, watch and use gestures before they produce much of the new language. At daycare that silent period is usually in English (your child may say little there at first). At home you may see the mirror image, a child who understands your Persian completely and answers in English. Research on bilingual children finds that understanding keeps up even when speaking shifts to the community language: in one study following children to about age ten, their understanding of both languages was usually balanced while their speaking had become English-dominant. Understanding is the door that stays open.

Before daycare starts: a short, useful handover

If you have a week or two before the first day, a little groundwork makes the transition easier for everyone.

Tell the staff your home language, and that you are keeping it. Daycares meet multilingual families all the time, but they do not know yours unless you tell them. Say that your child hears Persian at home and that you intend to keep it. You are not asking permission; you are giving them useful information.
Give them five Persian comfort words. Write down a handful your child might reach for when upset or tired, with the English next to each: «آب» (aab, water), «جیش» (jeesh, wee/toilet), «بغل» (baghal, a cuddle), «مامان» / «بابا» (maman / baba), «گشنمه» (goshnameh, I'm hungry), «خسته» (khasteh, tired). A carer who recognises one of these can comfort your child in a hard moment.
Expect quiet, and say so. Let the staff know a silent period is normal and that your child understands more than they will say at first in English. It heads off the worry that your child "isn't talking".
Keep your own language at home exactly as it was. The instinct to add more English at home to "help them keep up" usually backfires: the daycare already supplies the English, and swapping your Persian for shaky English trades fluent input for weaker input. If the school itself suggests English-only at home, see the teacher said speak English at home: is that right.

A protected Persian routine for the first year

The single most useful idea for this year is a protected home-language time: fixed, daily moments that belong to Persian no matter what happened at daycare. They do not need to be long. Consistency over a year does more than occasional intensity, and tying Persian to events that happen every day anyway means you never have to find extra time.

Anchor Persian to meals, bath and bedtime. Pick moments that recur without fail. Breakfast, the bath, the bedtime story, the walk to and from daycare: make them Persian by default. The child comes to expect Persian there, and you do not have to decide each day.
Read aloud in Persian, every day if you can. Reading brings words and sentence shapes that daily chat does not, and it is an easy, repeatable ritual. The Bell Foundation, a UK charity for children learning English as an additional language, advises parents to keep reading with their child in the first language precisely because it supports the new one, not just the old.
Keep a Persian voice in the week from the people who speak it best. Who the Persian comes from matters as much as the hours. Short, regular video calls with a grandparent, aunt or uncle add both input and a real reason to use Persian. On the nights a Persian-speaking relative is asleep in another time zone, a recording keeps that voice in the daily rhythm: on Azizan a grandparent, aunt or uncle reads an illustrated Persian story on video, page by page, so the child can watch it again and again with a parent beside them. A recording adds to the live calls and the variety of speakers; it does not replace talking with your child, which is the input that matters most. For making calls work with a small child, see video calls with grandparents abroad for toddlers.
Give Persian a job only it can do. Need is the second lever. A relative who speaks only Persian, a bedtime story that exists only in Persian, a weekly call where English will not do: each is a reason your child cannot route around. This matters more once daycare has made English the easy option everywhere else.
Don't turn it into a test. Invite Persian, don't demand it, and let a single Persian word in an English sentence count as a win. Warm, ordinary Persian from people the child loves is the input that lasts; pressure is the input that pushes a tired child toward the easier language.

If you are weighing up how to split the languages across the household, for instance whether to go Persian-only at home now that English has a daily source of its own, see one parent one language, or Persian only at home.

When not to worry, and when to ask for an assessment

Most of what daycare sets off is normal and needs patience, not an appointment. It is usually not a cause for concern when:

Your child is quiet in English at daycare for the first few months. The silent period described by the Canadian Paediatric Society can last several months.
Your child understands your Persian fully but answers in English. That is one of the most common patterns in bilingual families, and it is recoverable; it has its own guide, my child understands Farsi but answers in English.
Your child mixes Persian and English in one sentence. Mixing is a normal feature of bilingual speech, not confusion.
Persian seems to stall for a while after daycare starts, as English surges. Growth across the two languages together is what counts.

It is worth asking a professional for advice when the signs cross languages. The Canadian Paediatric Society and the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association agree on the principle: a true communication difficulty shows up in all of a child's languages, not only in English. So consider asking your doctor or a speech-language pathologist for a bilingual assessment if your child is clearly behind on milestones in Persian (their stronger language) as well as in English, is losing Persian words they used to have while English is not replacing them, or is very hard to understand in both. A good assessment looks at the home language too, with an interpreter if needed, rather than testing English alone.

One specific pattern is worth naming. A child who talks freely at home but is consistently, lastingly silent at daycare, beyond the normal settling-in weeks, may be showing more than shyness; the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association describes this as a possible sign of selective mutism, which a speech-language pathologist can assess. This is a reason to ask, not a diagnosis to make at home.

This is normal, and the first year is not the whole story

Almost every immigrant family meets this moment: the day the outside world starts speaking to your child in another language for hours at a time, and Persian has to make room. The dip you see in the first months is the predictable shape of that, not a verdict on your Persian or your child's.

A protected daily routine, reading aloud, a Persian voice in the week from the people who speak it best, and a real reason to use the language carry Persian through the year far better than anything the daycare does or doesn't do. Understanding stays ahead of speaking, and a child who keeps hearing warm, living Persian keeps the door open to speaking it later, on a visit, with a cousin, or when they decide for themselves that they want to. For the amount that keeps that door open, see how much Persian your child needs to hear.

Related guides

Questions

My child started daycare and stopped speaking Persian. Is that normal?

Yes. When daycare or preschool begins, your child's English input jumps and their Persian time drops, and many children start answering in English within a few months. Researchers point to two levers, how much of a language a child hears and whether they need it, and daycare raises the English on both at once. It is a predictable shift, not a sign Persian is lost, and understanding usually stays strong even when speaking moves to English. What keeps Persian alive is a protected, daily home-language routine.

Should I speak more English at home to help my child settle at daycare?

Usually no. The daycare already supplies plenty of English, and swapping your fluent Persian for shaky English trades strong input for weaker input. Paediatric and speech-language bodies advise parents to keep speaking the language they know best, because a strong first language supports the second rather than blocking it, and fluent input in one language transfers to the other. Keep Persian at home as it was, and let the daycare carry the English.

How do I keep Persian going once my child is at daycare all day?

Protect a few fixed, daily Persian moments that do not depend on the day going well: meals, bath and bedtime by default, reading aloud in Persian, and short regular video calls or recorded stories from Persian-speaking relatives. Consistency over the year matters more than occasional long sessions, and giving Persian a real job, a relative or a story that only works in Persian, turns understanding into speaking. Invite Persian rather than demanding it, and let a single Persian word count.

Should I tell the daycare we speak Persian at home?

Yes, and tell them you are keeping it. Give the staff five Persian comfort words with the English beside each, so a carer can soothe your child in a hard moment, and let them know a silent period in English is normal at first. The Canadian Paediatric Society and other bodies encourage parents to keep using the first language, so home-language maintenance is something to state plainly, not to apologise for. If the school suggests English-only at home, that advice is out of date.

When should I worry and ask for a speech assessment?

A true difficulty shows up across all of a child's languages, not only in English. Consider asking your doctor or a speech-language pathologist for a bilingual assessment if your child is clearly behind on milestones in Persian as well as English, is losing Persian words without English replacing them, or is very hard to understand in both. A good assessment looks at the home language too, with an interpreter if needed. Separately, a child who talks at home but is lastingly silent at daycare may be showing selective mutism, which an SLP can assess.

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Updated: 2026-11-03 · By Aida Fard

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