Azizan

My child understands Farsi but answers in English: what to do

Keep speaking Persian, reply to their English in Persian instead of switching, and most of all give your child people and moments where only Persian works. A child who understands but replies in English has not lost the language. They have learned that English is enough. Researchers who study bilingual children point to two things: how much of a language a child hears, and whether they actually need to speak it. Understanding comes from hearing. Speaking grows with use, so correcting helps less than giving them a reason to talk. Azizan (azizan.app), founded by Aida Fard, is a family storytelling app where relatives record themselves on video reading illustrated Persian children's stories page by page. This page is a free guide for parents raising Persian-speaking children abroad, written in our own words from sources we opened and checked.

Azizan (azizan.app) is a family storytelling app for immigrant and diaspora families: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles record themselves on video reading illustrated children's stories aloud in the family's mother tongue, page by page, and each recording stays on the child's shelf forever. Real family voices — never AI narration. Persian (Farsi) first.

Why your child answers in English

Bilingual children choose a language by who they are talking to. The Hanen Centre notes that children raised with two languages switch according to their conversation partner, and case studies of bilingual toddlers going back to Elizabeth Lanza's work in the 1990s show the same thing: children use their languages differently with each parent. If you speak Persian but also understand English, your child has worked out, correctly, that English will get through. They aren't being defiant and they haven't forgotten anything. English is simply quicker.

Three things usually push the balance further toward English:

• School. The study of Iranian families in New Zealand reported in the British Academy Review found that most parents' difficulties began when the children started school and brought English home. The applied linguist Ingrid Piller sees the early primary years the same way. In her account the school language takes over, which is a different thing from a child rebelling against the home language.
• Hearing is not the same as speaking. Bilingual-development researcher Erika Hoff and colleagues find that a child's own use of a language is tied to how their speaking grows; hearing builds understanding, but speaking needs practice. One long-term study of Spanish-English children (Giguere and Hoff, 2022) found that by about age ten the children's understanding of the two languages was most often balanced, while their speaking vocabulary was almost always stronger in English. It is one study, and of a different language, but many Persian-speaking parents will recognise the pattern.
• No one needs the Persian. The LSA guide names exposure and need as the two things that matter most. In most homes abroad, every Persian speaker the child knows also speaks English. So the child never hits a moment where only Persian will do.

How the home is set up matters more than the method's name

The largest survey we found, by the linguist Annick De Houwer, asked about 1,900 families in Flanders, Belgium, where at least one parent spoke a language other than Dutch. Every child spoke Dutch, but in nearly a quarter of the families no child spoke the home language. The children most likely to speak it were those whose parents both used it at home and at most one also spoke Dutch. "One parent, one language" was neither necessary nor enough on its own. The psycholinguist Francois Grosjean, writing about the same study, takes a practical lesson from it. The minority language survives best when it is used a lot at home, because the majority language arrives from outside anyway. This is one study in one country. De Houwer's later work and the Hanen Centre say the same thing, though: one parent, one language is an option, not a guarantee.

• If both parents speak Persian: make Persian the language of the home, including between the two of you. Your child will get English at school.
• If only one parent speaks Persian: that parent's Persian is most of the child's Persian, so protect it and add other speakers. See the guide for the parent who does not speak Farsi.
• Keep using the language you speak best. Hanen and Hoff both advise parents to speak the language they are most comfortable in. If you switch to English to match your child, they hear less Persian.

What to say when your child answers in English

Linguists who study bilingual families, following Elizabeth Lanza's work, sort a parent's possible replies into a line from "monolingual" (you act as if only Persian works) to "bilingual" (you show that English is fine). Say your child asks in English for juice:

Be honest with yourself about the evidence. Lanza's case studies, and a review by De Houwer and Nakamura, suggest that the replies at the top of the table go with more use of the parent's language. A 2017 University of Ottawa thesis found the idea generally supported, though not in every respect. Other research has found mixed results. The same Ottawa thesis noticed that parents used the more effective replies less often, and the author suggests why: keeping the conversation flowing and the family at peace pulled the other way. Choosing warmth is a real trade-off, and it is not failing.

For most families, the middle rows are the ones to use most of the time. A Persian guess or repetition costs nothing and keeps Persian in the room. Save "what did you say?" for light, playful moments, and drop it if it turns into a standoff. The LSA guide warns that children resist a language when they feel forced or embarrassed into it, and that scolding can leave a negative attitude. Never pretend not to understand something that matters to your child, like being hurt or scared.

Build a real need for Persian

The right reply in the moment helps a little. What moves a child from understanding to speaking is someone, or somewhere, that only works in Persian.

1. Relatives who only speak Persian. The LSA guide singles out monolingual grandparents as "especially helpful". Ask grandparents on calls to stay in Persian even when the child answers in English, to ask questions that need an answer, and to accept a one-word reply happily. A grandmother who never switches to English gives a child the clearest reason there is.
2. More speakers, more places. A study of Greek heritage children in North America (Chondrogianni and Daskalaki, 2023) found that home use helped, and that the number and variety of speakers and situations also mattered. A Persian playgroup, a Persian-speaking babysitter, family friends, Nowruz gatherings: each new person who speaks Persian to your child adds one more place where English isn't the default.
3. Trips, if you can. The same Greek study found visits to Greece helped vocabulary and grammar, and the New Zealand study found a visit to Iran lifted children's Persian quickly. That study also found the gain started to fade soon after the family got home, so plan the weeks after the trip and keep the calls going with the people the child just met.
4. Talk about the language, not just in it. The applied linguist Ingrid Piller, drawing on the researcher Sabine Little, suggests talking with children about the home language as they grow, not only using it. Tell your child who in the family speaks only Persian and why it matters to you that they can talk to them.
5. Give Persian a person and a story. A story read by a grandparent, in their own voice, gives the child something to talk about with that grandparent on the next call. On Azizan, relatives record illustrated Persian stories page by page on video; asking the child on the call which page they liked is a question that only works in Persian.

None of this works quickly, and none of it guarantees a fluent speaker. A child who still understands Persian has kept the hardest part. For the longer view of why heritage languages fade and what slows it, see why immigrant kids lose their mother tongue; for what research says about Persian and English together, see bilingual Persian-English kids.

Related guides

• Why immigrant kids lose their mother tongue, and what helps
• You don't speak Farsi: how to help your child learn it anyway
• Bilingual Persian-English kids: what the research says

Questions

Is it normal for a child to understand Persian but only answer in English?

Yes. Bilingual children choose their language by who they are talking to, and if they know you understand English, English is the easy route. Usually it means Persian is understood but rarely needed. It has not been lost.

Should I pretend I don't understand English?

Asking 'chi gofti?' (what did you say?) is one of the strategies researchers have studied, and some case studies link it to more use of the parent's language, but the evidence is mixed. Use it lightly and playfully. A Persian guess such as 'abmiveh mikhay?' is gentler and keeps the conversation in Persian. Stop if it becomes a fight.

Does one parent, one language work?

It can, but it is not a guarantee. A large survey of about 1,900 families in Belgium found it was neither necessary nor sufficient for children to speak the home language; children were most likely to speak it when both parents used it at home. If you both speak Persian, use it at home with each other too.

Will my child start speaking Persian later?

Many families see it happen once there is a real reason, such as a grandparent who only speaks Persian, a trip, or a group of Persian-speaking friends. Understanding is the hardest part to rebuild, so a child who still understands has a head start. No method guarantees fluency.

How does Azizan help a child who answers in English?

It gives Persian a familiar face. A grandparent or relative records a Persian story on video, page by page, and the child can watch it every night; on the next call, the story is something to talk about in Persian with the person who read it. It does not replace talking with them.

Open Azizan — record a story for your child

Updated: 2026-11-03 · By Aida Fard

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